Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
by tutriceange
Summary: rogercollinsfriendship. something so small to everyone else, but to them, it meant everything


This was written for speed rent for the prompt Roger/Collins/Grilled Cheese sandwich. This is pretty much a few snippets of how Collins and Roger used something so simple to mean so much. I hope you like it! Read & Review:D

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Roger didn't know when or how it started. It was never something either one of them had to think about. It was something that was a small little thing to everyone else, but to them, it meant everything.

A day, a few years ago, Collins was sitting in the loft when Roger came home. He threw his lyric notebook against the wall, slammed the door, and fell onto the couch. He was obviously crushed about something--Collins would find out later that Roger's band had just broken up. Collins tried to talk to Roger, to get him to tell him something, but nothing worked.

So Collins went into the kitchen. When he was a little boy, his grandmother always made him grilled cheese sandwiches when he was upset about something--so he decided to make one for Roger.

Once the sandwich was made, he placed both of them on two plates and carried them out there. He set one in front of Roger and placed the other in his lap. The two were silent as they ate.

When Roger was done, he turned and faced Collins and gave him a small smile, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Collins said, nodding to him. After that simple exchange of words, Roger poured out everything he was feeling and what had happened. He knew that Collins cared and wanted to listen--and all because of a simple grilled cheese sandwich.

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Collins came home that fateful day to an empty loft. He had tears in his eyes and piece of paper clutched firmly in his hands. He fell onto to sofa and just stared at the wall.

He didn't know how much time he spent there--his guess what about three hours or so. He just sat there, thinking and staring. Think. Stare. Breathe. Inhale. Think. Exhale. Stare. I My life is over /i . Inhale. Stare out the window. i We need to paint the fire escape /i . Exhale. He continued this pattern the entire time he sat there.

Roger came home later that same day and was slightly startled to see Collins sitting on the couch, staring at the wall, still clutching that small piece of paper in his hands. He made his way over to his friend and crouched down. "What's up man?"

Collins just shook his head, the tears forming in his eyes again. Roger looked down at the paper and gently took it from Collins' hands. His eyes widened at the sight of the word B positive /B . He looked up at Collins with caring eyes, placed the paper back in his hands and got up and went to the kitchen.

Roger emerged a few moments later with two plates, each one containing a grilled cheese sandwich. He placed one in front of Collins and quietly began eating his own sandwich. Again they sat there in silence until Collins was done. He looked up at Roger, smiled weakly and said, "Thanks Rog..."

Roger only nodded to his friend. Collins immediately broke down and told Roger everything that had happened. As much as it pained Collins to break down the way he was, he knew Roger was going to care and be there for him--no matter what.

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Roger came home one day and opened the loft, startled to see Collins and Mark--especially with the appearance they had. Both of their eyes were swollen and red--looking like they had just gotten done crying. Collins came up to him and said sadly, "Roger, there's something I have to tell you."

Roger looked at him. "What's going on? Is everything alright with April?" He asked. He and April had been together for a few months now and the panic immediately washed over him.

Collins shook his head. "I'm sorry Roger...but April's...she's...dead."

Roger's whole world collapsed around him as he heard those words from his friend. No, April couldn't be dead--not i his /i April. He just shook his head and made his way to his bedroom. The bathroom light was on and it caused him to look inside. There lie his April, surrounded by a sea of crimson red.

Roger didn't know how long he stayed in that bathroom, just watching her. But when he came out, Mark was no where in sight and Collins was sitting at the counter with two plates. Roger walked over to him and sat down. He picked up his grilled cheese sandwich and ate it silently, Collins doing the same.

Once they were done, Roger pushed away his plate but before he could say thank you to Collins, or anything at all--Collins had engulfed him in a hug that made Roger's barrier break. He started sobbing and just let his friend comfort him, as he tried to grasp the situation at hand.

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Roger was still wondering if it was a good idea, to go and see Collins today, the day of Angel's funeral. He knew Collins probably didn't want company, but he had to be there for him. Collins was there for him when April died--now it was his turn.

Truth was he was worried about Collins. He hadn't said much today except for when he was talking to Angel at the funeral or yelling at everyone else at the cemetery. Carefully, Roger knocked on the door of Collins and Angel's apartment.

There was no reply.

Roger knocked again and called out. "Collins...it's Roger. Please, just come and open up the door."

Collins walked to the door, opened it and then went and sat back down on the couch without saying a word. Roger, of course, didn't expect Collins to be in a talking mood, so he knew he had to say something.

"Collins...I know this is hard for you--you lost the love of your life after all. But don't let this tear you away from everyone else. We are all here for you and love you. I want you to let me in and help you--at least let me be able to listen to whatever you want to say."

Collins just continued to stare out the window and didn't even acknowledge Roger's talking in the first place. Roger sighed and made his way to the kitchen. He quickly made two grilled cheese sandwiches and brought them out. He thought that Collins wasn't going to eat it, but he did. Of course he didn't say anything--not like either one of them ever do. They saved words until after they were done eating.

Just like time after time, when they were finished Collins turned to Roger and said softly, "I miss him so much..."

Roger nodded, "I know you do--we all do," he said while putting his arm around Collins. Collins let Roger's arm stay where it was, but let himself cry. He knew that he could break down in front of Roger and it would remain between the two of them--all because of the grilled cheese sandwiches.

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Roger still didn't know how it started, or why, but he did know how much a simple thing like that could help. He still couldn't believe that they would never be able to do that again--Collins had died that morning.

Roger wasn't able to sleep, eat, or do anything except stare at the wall. After a long while he got up and went and made himself two grilled cheese sandwiches. He placed each one on a separate plate and carried them to the counter. He set one in front of himself and the other next to him. He silently ate his sandwich and when he was done turned his head upwards.

"You always knew what to do or say to make me feel better, or at least better enough to talk about it. I don't know how I'm going to get through things without your help. Who am I going to talk to now? No one else understands things like you do...did," he chocked slightly at the past tense and tears began to fall freely from his face. "I don't know why the grilled cheese helps me, but it does. It always made me realize that you truly cared about me and wanted to help me--in whatever way you could." He stopped to wipe his eyes and take a deep breath. "I know it will never be the same, but I'll always have an extra sandwich, just in case you decide you need one too."

Roger got up, the tears still flowing steadily from his eyes, and cleaned off both of the plates. After washing the one he had set out for Collins, he again placed it on the counter.

He turned and began walking towards his bedroom. He turned around when he reached the hallway. He looked at the empty plate sitting in the middle of the counter with a sad smile. "Thanks Collins...for everything."


End file.
